Nikki's Birth story: It was Tuesday 4th December 2007, 2 days before my due date. I was in the car waiting for my 14 year old daughter Kayleigh to finish school and I had what I would describe as mild period pains. I didn't think anything of them as I was convinced that my baby boy was going to be late. After collecting the children from school we went home and done the usual chores, cleaning, cooking the tea etc., without even a second thought about the cramps that I was experiencing.

We had tea at about 6pm and then the children asked if we could put the Christmas tree up. I said that we could because once the baby arrived I would probably never find he time to do it. Also it would be nice to have it up for the birth as we had decided to have a homebirth.

We started putting the tree up at about 7pm. I was still having niggling cramps but I just ignored them as they still weren't painful. I did start to think to myself that this could be it, but I didn’t say anything to Adam or the children just in case.

By the time we finished decorating the tree at around 8pm the cramps were becoming more frequent and more noticeable but still not painful or even uncomfortable. I had a cup of tea and sat down with Adam in front of the TV. By about 8.45pm the cramps were about 10 minutes apart and lasting for about 30 seconds, that’s when I decided that yes this was it – I was in labour! I told Adam that our son was on his way. He looked at me with a smile on his face and said “are you sure?” I said “yes positive”.

Adam had already pumped up the birthing pool about a week earlier. Good job really because the first one had a hole in. The company sent a replacement the next day so we thought we would pump it up to make sure this one was ok.

I decided to go and have a bath. When I got into the bath I had quite a strong surge so I decided to call Michelle to let her know that things were happening. She said to give her a call back when the surges got closer together.

I got out of the bath and went downstairs to see Adam. All of a sudden a real sense of fear came over me and I burst into tears. Adam looked shocked and gave me a kiss and a hug and told me to listen to my Rainbow Relaxation music.

During my pregnancy we had attended Hypnobirthing classes. I had been listening to my rainbow relaxation every night in bed for the last couple of months and practising my breathing techniques in preparation for the big day.

We told the children what was happening and they got really excited. We told them to go to bed as it would be hours yet before anything happened. During the pregnancy we had discussed with the children about attending the birth. Kayleigh wasn’t sure and Mitchell who is 9 years old had said “er no way, I don’t want to see all that blood”. Now that the time had come they both said that they wanted to stay up so we let them.

I put on my iPod and started listening to my Rainbow Relaxation music. This really helped as the surges were more noticeable now and lasting a little bit longer. They still weren't painful but I had to concentrate on my breathing every time that I had one.

It got to about 10.30pm and I told Adam that he had better start to fill the pool as we weren't sure how long it would take. He got out the hose attachment and it didn't fit any of our taps! Aaagh. We should have checked that out sooner. I told him to ring Michelle as she had told me that she had a few different attachments.

I sat on the sofa in the lounge doing my sleep breathing. I could hear the children in and out but I was in a world of my own. Michelle arrived at about 11.45pm with her hose attachments and they were the same ones we had, so they had to put loads of tape around the tap to hold the hose in place. Finally we could start filling the pool.

I was glad Michelle was here now as I really wasn’t sure how far my labour had progressed. I seemed too calm and the surges seemed too mild for me to be very far advanced. Both my other births had been in hospital and both had been very painful.

Michelle asked me if I wanted her to examine me to see how far along I was. Half of me wanted to know and the other half didn’t. I thought if Michelle tells me I am only 2 cm open I will be quite disheartened.  I decided to let her examine me and to my surprise I was 8 cm open! I couldn’t believe it. Adam and I both looked at each other in amazement.  With my other two labours I was climbing the walls by now screaming for some pain relief. All I had done was listen to my Rainbow Relaxation. No drugs, no screaming no pain – fantastic!!

The pool seemed to be taking forever to fill and I began to wonder if it was going to be ready in time now that I knew how far along I was. Eventually at about 12.45am I got into the lovely warm water. It was really relaxing and very east to change positions. By this time Val the second midwife had arrived and she began boiling the kettle as we had apparently run out of hot water and the pool wasn’t quite warm enough yet. Mitchell was in and out of the lounge with his thermometer checking the temperature of the water.

The surges were getting much more intense now and closer together. I carried on listening to the Rainbow Relaxation and tried to concentrate on my breathing. Adam was doing the light touch massage on my back which felt really nice.

I was starting to make groaning noises as the surges got more intense. Michelle explained to the children what was happening and why I was making these strange sounds. She was fantastic with the children.

I started to come out of hypnosis and was getting a bit upset. Michelle reassured me that I was doing really well and to just let go and relax. She had attended the Hypnobirthing classes with us so she was aware of what to do to get me back into a relaxed state.

All of a sudden I felt the urge to push. I was hoping to breathe my baby out rather than pushing so I tried to breathe through the first few surges by doing the ‘j’ breath (a Hypnobirthing breathing technique). After a few more surges I really couldn’t resist the urge to push any longer so I did. This was the hardest part for me; it seemed to take forever for his head to crown, but I still felt in control and much more relaxed than my previous births.

My son Mitchell had left the room by this point as I think he was a bit worried. Val went out and reassured him that everything was ok and that I was perfectly fine. Another surge and Michelle told me to feel his head. It felt like velvet. I knew I was nearly there and that any second now we would have another son. One more push and out he came. Baby Zak was born at 2.45am weighing 8lb 12oz. I caught him and lifted him up onto my tummy. He did have the cord around his neck but Michelle quickly saw to that.  He was perfect. Everyone gathered round to welcome Zak into the world. He had been born into a calm and peaceful environment, surrounded by his family with no medical intervention. Michelle cut the cord after about 15 minutes once it had stopped pulsating as no one else was keen to do it. I had chosen to have a natural third stage which took about 45 minutes.

During this time Val had made tea and toast for everyone whilst we all sat in the lounge admiring our new bundle of joy. The children went up to bed at around 3.45am as it had been a long night for them. I went up and had a lovely bath whilst Michelle and Adam sorted out Zak. I got out the bath and put on my pyjamas. Michelle gave me a hug and a kiss and she left at around 4.45am. We went to bed with our new baby boy next to us. It was such an amazing experience that will stay with us all forever. I only wish that I had chosen Michelle and a homebirth for my other two children. She was fantastic!

Lorraine's Birth story: Ever been told that you can’t do something and it makes you even more determined? That’s what I felt like when I was told that when it was time to birth my second baby I would have to go into hospital when I made contact with the midwife.

In 2004 I had a c-section with my first son Oliver. It was something I wasn’t fully prepared for even though I considered myself aware of all the outcomes, I guess its something that you just hope won’t happen so you don’t fully deal with it. We had practiced hypnobirthing, which I found was fantastic for relaxing me and keeping me calm, and we were hoping for a home birth, but being 3 weeks + overdue, I found myself unable to follow that route and got pushed down the NHS drug route when my waters finally broke. Oliver’s head never fully engaged and we finally decided to have a c-section as we felt we had exhausted all the avenues we thought we had open to us at the time. One of my main midwife contacts at that time was Tess Lovely and it was her enthusiasm that gave me the confidence to even pursue the homebirth option. Her attitude was so positive to childbirth, rather than it being a painful and daunting experience which I picked up from other health professionals. After the birth Tess was fantastic and gave me so much support, from baby sleeping to breast feeding.

When I became pregnant again, it took me a long while to seriously think about how I wanted to birth my baby. It was at about 30 weeks when I talked to my NHS midwife about options and I was told “I had none, as I was considered ‘high risk’ as I had a previous c-section”. My health is good, I'm reasonably fit and my previous c-section was due to Oliver not wanting to come out of his cosy environment rather than an emergency heath issue. I found the concept of being ‘high risk’ difficult to deal with logically. I tried to find Tess again to seek some positive thoughts and was told that she had moved into private midwifery. I managed to get her number and emailed her as an initial contact via her website. The thought of spending £3000 was difficult to palate and I guess put me off making phone contact as I wasn’t sure whether we wanted to, or could afford a private midwife.

Tess came to visit me at home and we discussed the options available, as it happened my due date was right at the start of a 3 week holiday to Australia that she had already planned. She suggested that I contact another independent midwife Michelle Twiselton and so the relationship with Michelle began. By talking to Tess and Michelle, I made my mind up that if I wanted to have any options in the birth of my baby I needed to opt for private midwifery, so we took the plunge. Because of the due dates I ended up having a split service. Tess would be available if I went into labour before my due date and Michelle was available afterwards.

Both Tess and Michelle visited, together and separately before my due date. I was about 34 weeks when I finally engaged their services, so I fully believe it’s never too late! They took the time to understand me, my thoughts around the previous birth and what I wanted this time round. I had some hidden demons around my first birth that I hadn’t dealt with and when ever I actually tried to talk about the birth I cried, but didn’t actually know why. They listened, offered hardly any obvious advice, but provided comfort and understanding. By the time I was ready to go into labour I felt that I had released the issues that I’d squirreled away in the back of my mind. It was just about talking it through and realising that what happened in my first birthing experience was the best that I could have done and ultimately although the ride was uncomfortable we arrived safely at the destination… I had my beautiful baby son.

My due date came and went, I knew I would never be on time and Tess went on holiday. I never felt like that was an issue and the time I had spent with Michelle created a strong bond of trust. Not just for me but also for my husband. She had also taken the time to get to know my son Oliver who was now two and a half. I so wanted a water birth, to be at home in the calm and relaxing surroundings of my home rather than the hospital. We had a birthing pool ready and had undertaken some review sessions for hypnobirthing. I felt empowered and relaxed about the birth. I felt that I had a choice now rather than being told that I had to go into hospital at the first sign of baby’s arrival. It took such a weight off my mind and I could concentrate on being pregnant again rather than worrying about what was going to happen. I knew that Michelle was available at any time for me and that didn’t feel like that just because I was paying for a service, it felt like she actually cared.

My waters broke around 10 days after my due date, it was a Monday, and my little boy finally arrived on Thursday. I spent the time in between mostly at home, without Michelle’s help I would have been in hospital and followed a different path. My contractions started at around 5 to 10 minutes apart and I started my hypnobirthing to remain calm and relaxed. I was in pre-labour and was so relaxed that I fell asleep and when I woke the contractions had stopped. Michelle came and checked on baby and had waited until I was comfortable and confident that I was OK. The next day the contractions started again, we started hypnobirthing again, I relaxed and I ended up falling asleep again. The hypnobirthing made a difference, when I concentrated on the techniques the surges were fine, if I didn’t then I could certainly feel them. During this time I had been in and out of the birthing pool for relaxation and had the privilege of being at home rather than being in hospital. Michelle had made me fully aware of the protocols around waters breaking and inducement and had given me the opportunity to make an informed decision about my next steps.

On the Wednesday afternoon the contractions started again and were reasonably strong. When I followed the hypnobirthing training the contractions were completely manageable. Early evening I was in the birthing pool and I felt a pop and a sudden gush of fluids, from this point onwards the surges were around 3 minutes apart and strong. Although I tried to remain relaxed and calm I felt like I didn’t have time to collect myself between surges and the discomfort eventually got the better of me. Throughout this time, Michelle stayed in the background, unobtrusive, but still there for support. My husband was fantastic, he was my support throughout and the main reason for having Michelle was that he could completely concentrate on me rather than having to fend off medical staff during birthing.

My mum has been very sick with MS and cancer for sometime, and to me Michelle was more like the mother that I wish could have been there for me. When I say mother, it’s about someone who supports what you want to do, without just accepting what you say, but trying to understand why. What my mum would have done if she were able. Late on the Wednesday night the surges were too strong for me to cope with and I decided that I needed pain relief. Again Michelle was there to support me in this decision and facilitated the trip to the hospital via ambulance. At this point I felt that I had tried all the options available to me and I had made the decision when I wanted to go to hospital rather that being told. Or should I say my baby decided what and when things were going to happen.

When I arrived at hospital I didn’t have to worry about being told off for staying at home so long against Milton Keynes hospital protocol with regard to waters breaking and antibiotics. I knew Michelle would sort that out. James was left to be with me and support me. The ‘high risk’ label didn’t leave me, but I could manage that as I felt more in control of the choices I had made. I eventually had an epidural, but that just slowed the surges. We made the decision to have a c-section as we felt that we had considered and tried all options, the baby wasn’t engaging and there was no progress…. De-ja-vu of my first birth, but this time we felt more empowered and in control of the decisions.

The baby was back to back, we didn’t find this out until he came out, the little monkey certainly kept us on our toes! Whilst we were in hospital, Michelle couldn’t act as a midwife and was more of a doula, but because she is known in the hospital and has worked there I truly believe that our experience was less traumatic. Even down to the fact that she went and got toast for James so that he didn’t have to leave me! Fantastic service!

Ethan was born on 12th April at 12:12 pm. Michelle was in the theatre with my husband, taking pictures and keeping a watchful eye. I felt scared but calm at the same time. I knew that we had made the decisions this time rather than being pushed down a route we didn’t want to follow. We have some fantastic pictures of Ethan’s first moments with us.

The hospital experience was as I expected, when I thought I was able to leave on the third day I suddenly had a barrage of physicians and midwives trying to force me to have Vitamin K and antibiotic injections given to Ethan. I had researched the vitamin K benefits and felt that it wasn’t necessary, the hospital staff had other ideas based on ‘what normally happens’ and I felt bullied into changing my mind. I stood my ground, only because I had discussed the issues with Michelle and felt happy with my decision. She was there to provide support afterwards.

As a second time mum you don’t get the same grace as you do first time round, the time to relax and the pampering. Everybody knows you’ve done it before and assumes you can get on with it on your own. This excludes my husband, James; he was fantastic; he supported me with all the decisions we had to make and talked it all through with me. He, like me was sceptical of needing a private midwife, but now agrees with me. Michelle was there for me after the birth, when I got home to ensure that we had the help we needed. Ethan is now 5 months old and I feel that if I needed help, Michelle would be there to try and help. I was initially concerned about being able to afford the fees of a private midwife, but having been there I now know that every penny was well spent. If you want to be able to make choices, in my experience you need to consider opting out of the NHS system for midwifery care.

I can’t thank Michelle and Tess enough for my healing birthing experience. I know things would have been very different.

I thought initially about hiring an Independent Midwife (IM) but after speaking to one IM decided to see how it went with the NHS.

By 26 weeks I was hacked off. I had seen 4 different midwifes since I got pregnant and was aware of numerous suspensions of the home birth service in the Bedford area due to a shortage of midwifes. My absolute worst case scenario was phoning up in labour and being told I couldn’t have a home birth and having to go to hospital.

So I decided to try IMs again. I sent an email to various names I got from the IMA website and that is how I found Michelle. I knew straight away when we met for our initial consultation that she was right for me and luckily she thought she could work with me too!

I was more relaxed knowing I would get the home birth I wanted (barring medical issues) but there were also other benefits that I hadn’t really counted on.

Every antenatal appointment was held in my home at a time convenient to me and my family - and they usually lasted at least an hour. We spent a long time talking about the birth and what I wanted and also the postnatal period so Michelle really got to understand what was important to me - I didn't have to write a birth plan it was all in her head and discussed in detail beforehand.

It also meant I no longer had to drag my other two (M 3yrs and L 20 months) to the GP surgery or go without them. They got involved in the pregnancy ‘helping’ Michelle to find the baby’s heartbeat and finding their own as well! She made the experience ‘real’ for them without it being scary. We also had antenatal appointments in the evenings so my husband could be involved, a first for him as he had never attended an antenatal appointment before, so he got to hear Sophie’s heart beat before she was born and Michelle also gave him a crash course in palpating my stomach to feel the position of the baby!

It was also great to know I could call any time with my pregnancy queries. And I did! Michelle was able to come over at short notice when I was especially worried about anything to take a look or just reassure me.

By the time we got to the birth I felt I knew and trusted Michelle totally and she had made me more trusting of my own instincts. The fact that I knew she would attend the birth relaxed me completely.

Needless to say the birth was fantastic. It was very straightforward and Sophie arrived on my living room sofa in just over 5 hours. Michelle was actually only there for about an hour and a half of the labour as I was so at ease I did most of it with just my partner. But I have to say when she did arrive I was very relieved!  She followed my wishes to the letter, a first in my three labours!

She took pictures for us, her and a colleague cleared up beautifully, they made the best tea and toast ever and then left us to it. (oh, and she did take the placenta away too!!)

And then another major benefit kicked in - the postnatal support. Once again everything was done at home, Michelle visited me as often as I wanted and stayed for at least an hour, she did all the tests at home (heel prick, anti-D etc) and I didn’t have to take Sophie to a single germ infested clinic!! And she supported me with breast feeding.

Again the boys got involved in weighing Sophie (and their Bob the Builder toys!) and we all looked forward to a visit (especially as Michelle is a great football player!). She also made me feel like I was important in the process and took great pains to make sure I rested enough and took care of myself.

During one memorable visit I was stressed out about how much I still had to do for Luke’s second birthday party and she helped the boys make the jelly while I rested with Sophie – now that is service!!

I had my last visit when Sophie was 10 weeks old! At the visit Michelle presented me with a photocopy of all my notes which will be a wonderful record of Sophie’s birth and early life. And they were beautifully wrapped up in home made paper and made into a gift.

Although an IM is not cheap I have to say that it was worth every single penny. I guess they operate how midwives used to before time and money constraints kicked in – but with added jelly making services!

From the moment we started working with Michelle we felt a change in our antenatal care. We could have our appointments when and where we wanted them. Every meeting with Michelle lasted for at least an hour and she got to know us really well. She is warm and understanding but also has an air of professionalism about her that inspires confidence so I trusted her completely. Her advice was always balanced and she presented us with many options as she doesn’t have an agenda. All this put me at ease. Once I had a minor bump in the car and was very upset, she was round to our house within half an hour and she totally reassured me.

During the pregnancy I became very interested in Hypnobirthing and when I organised to go on a course Michelle attended the sessions with us giving up her own time. She was very patient and supportive as I changed ideas frequently about where I wanted to give birth. I loved the idea of a home birth but my mindset is that I would be safer in hospital. I liked that fact that Michelle had worked for Milton Keynes General for many years so I felt that she knew the procedures and maybe some of the staff there so we would not be going into a hospital not knowing anything about it. Michelle and I discussed in detail my birth plan. She empowered me with the feeling that even if I went into hospital I would not be giving up my right to have a birth the way that I wanted.

Being the mother of two young children already, I desperately wanted to give myself the best chance possible of having a home birth. I really didn’t want to go into hospital and leave the children, J (4yrs) and M (2yrs) as their labour’s had been very straightforward and relatively short. My husband and I saw no downside to having our third child at home.

My labour started in the early hours of Monday 16th July, one day before my due date. As always with these things, I got out of bed and wandered around the house thinking is it, isn’t it for a while, trying not to wake the kids. It’s when you have that first really big contraction and you think “oh bugger”, I remember this from last time” that you know you really are in labour. As it was 2 o’clock in the morning I decided to leave it a while before I called Michelle, though she had told me over and over again to call as soon as I thought I was in labour. It was just the thought of waking her too soon – it’s very unnatural to telephone people at 3 in the morning! My plan was to have the baby in our conservatory which we had made into a little cocoon draping sheets over the glass and with a big exercise mat covered with a sheet on the floor. I set about getting this ready whilst breathing my way through the contractions, which were about 6 minutes apart. Once it got to around 3.30 am I decided I had best wake up my sleeping husband Martin, so he could put my TENS machine on me. Bleary eyed he came downstairs and did the final setting up of the ‘birthing room’ and helped me with my TENS whilst I had contractions leaning up against the fridge! Walking around lots, hip gyrating and breathing I coped fine with the contractions and decided I had better call Michelle around 4.30am. 

At this stage, my contractions were about 3 minutes apart so I was glad to hear Michelle’s reassuring voice. It was good to know she was already on her way as I knew things were starting to get moving. The only scary moment was when I had an absolutely HUGE contraction about 20 minutes after calling Michelle and I thought, this is it, this baby is coming out. Thankfully, that was not the case and my waters began to trickle out as I stood on my mat, wiggling my hips and fiddling about with my TENS machine. Always a great distraction!

All the reading I’d done agreed strongly about one thing – that continuity of care by one midwife made a drastic difference to a woman’s experience of birth. I had also made up my mind that when labour started I wanted to be at home as long as possible and ideally to give birth there.

As soon as I booked with Michelle I felt most of my anxieties disappear. Michelle wasn’t at all fazed by my age. She did what I had wanted the NHS to do – to treat me as an individual and look at my actual health and circumstances, and for us to make decisions between us based on this.

Although I was primarily focussed on the delivery when I decided to look for an independent midwife, Michelle made a big difference to my experience prior to the birth. As well as generally putting me at ease, doing regular checkups, talking about birth plans and so on, it was clear that one of Michelle’s big assets is knowing her way around the system (and people) at MK General! She came with me several times to show me round the labour ward (just in case!) and to support me during obstetrician appointments.

The pregnancy proceeded well, with all scans and tests coming out completely normal – so we both figured we were on track for a home birth.

Unfortunately, nature had other plans!